Quitting corporate
It wasn't like a lightbulb moment when I knew I wanted to quit. I returned to the corporate world 2 years ago when I wanted to buy a house, and I knew there was no way I was doing it on a sole trader income. Not that I wasn't making enough, it was all the hoops I would have to jump through. All I needed was 6 months of salary in a permanent job, a bit more savings and I'd have a roof over us. So although I made a promise to myself when I left that world behind in 2020, I sucked it up again for a while.
This goes against everything I stand for and part of me felt ashamed because of the podcast I had built and the whole ethos behind it. "It's better to live a short life that is full of what you like doing, than live a long life spent in a miserable way." that quote by Alan Watts is in the opening of my podcast. So you can see why I felt a little ashamed. It felt like I'd failed to make it work. But I had to reframe that. It was a little short-term pain for long-term gain; I made another promise to myself that as soon as I got the house, I would leave again. Until I got used to the money.
I've climbed the corporate ladder for most of my career, and now I'm on a salary I would have dreamed of in my twenties. But I'm not happy. It's crazy. I thought that once I made a certain amount of money in life, there was no way I could possibly be unhappy. Two years back in corporate, I am the most stressed I've ever been - or at least I was until I handed in my notice. I've nearly done it on a few occasions when things got too much and I was burnt out; I always said enough was enough and that I would leave, but I never did. I wondered how I would make things work now that I had a mortgage to pay. After too many talks to count with my partner, endless tearful evenings after a stressful workday, and things starting to leak into my personal life, not being able to work out because I was mentally exhausted at the end of each day, and overall, my mental health was really suffering - I was done.
I set a date that I would finally hand in my notice, and contacted a really great business coach who had mentored me before through her amazing VA Academy, shoutout to Niamh - click here to follow her. I might also mention here that I kept comparing myself to Niamh in a way. She started her VA business at the same time as me in 2020, and I remember we both followed each other at the time when we both had a small following right from the start. I beat myself up a bit about how I should have been way further along had I done it right the first time and made a success of my business. Our inner critic is wild, isn’t it?
Anyway, there's no point dwelling on it; what matters is what I do now. I started to write down all my ideas, and on my first call with Niamh, we chatted through them all. I got really clear on what I wanted for my business and what I wanted the future to look like. So, I reactivated my Instagram page, which I had been stopping and starting for the past year while threatening to leave my job and I’ve never felt so confident that I would make a success of something.
The more I thought about it the more I wondered why I was waiting for this date I set to come and why I didn’t just hand in my notice now. What difference would it make? It was like I was just prolonging the fear. It was terrifying. I was pulling the rug under a steady, safe and predictable income. One I’m paid for when I’m sick, or Noah’s sick or something happens. So I had a chat once again with my ever so supportive fiancé and with is reassurance yet again, I decided I’d do it the very next day, a Friday.
I felt sick for the entire day, I couldn’t eat and I made all the excuses under the sun for holding off until Monday. I had to have some serious back-and-forth talks with myself and some more convincing as to why I should leave and why I should leave now. I took a deep breath and I called my manager. After the call I felt such a weight off. It was done.
Over the next few days I found myself waking in the night wondering if I had really made the right decision and how the hell I was going to pay my bills. That was the real mindset shift, and something I have to remind myself of every day since. I’m choosing freedom and my mental health over anything else. My success is now what I make it and if other people can do it then so can I.
Wish me luck!
